Sunday, 19 June 2016

Lazy, lazy girl

I'll level with you: I'm a lazy, lazy girl.

I have this blog and I have a twitter account... but it turns out that my expectation when setting both of these up that I would update them regularly was optimistic at best, utterly deluded at worst.

Just finding time to write actual stories is hard enough... but time to write about writing stories? No way. Sorry... just no.

I could give you lots of seemingly valid excuses. In fact, here are some right now:
  • I work full time (in my 'real job')
  • I commute for roughly 2 hours per day
  • I have a family and a dog to love, care for and - when necessary - hassle into brushing their teeth (not so much the dog)
  • I have a house to keep... if not clean, then certainly safe for human habitation
  • I have friends, hobbies and other people's stories that I want to devote some of my time to
  • And finally, not to over-share but... you may have gathered that I also like to have kinky sex once in a while... and that shit can take planning
So you see? Busy busy busy...


No, I can't lie to you. These are all just excuses. The real reason is that I'm lazy. Because you know what? Here are some things that I *do* find time for:
  • Checking Facebook (upwards of 50 times per day)
  • Brainstorming ways that I could stop looking at facebook without actually having to close my account
  • Searching for houses on Rightmove that I will *never* (without a lottery win) be able to afford
  • Daydreaming about where I might be able to fit a rolltop bath in our tiny house
  • Watching (and then re-watching) honest trailers
  • Trawling through page after page of articles and article comments on the Guardian website 
  • Googling UK holiday cottages that have rolltop baths and/or a woodburner and/or a pervertible history (e.g. former Victorian school, former workhouse, former prison, etc etc) and then fantasising about going on holiday there
  • Making vague plans for how me and my family would survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland
  • Obsessing over this bus
Productive, huh?

So I'm thinking... if I could stop doing all of the above, I would surely have more than enough time to not only write more stories but also to do more writing about writing stories.


Told you I was optimistic... ;-)

Sunday, 10 April 2016

Claimed by the Captain

Long time, no blog (*again*).

And now I'm only back because I want to tell you about my new book.

(I know: it's ok to be angry with me).


*drum roll* is the book that proves that me writing a whole novel all the way through WASN'T A FLUKE!

Yay :-).

When Captain Thomas Edwards returns home after twenty years at sea to take ownership of the White Hart Inn following the death of his father, he has not even reached the edge of the village before he comes across a miscreant stealing apples from a local farmer’s orchard. Upon discovering that the thief is a young woman named Ellen who has been employed in his father’s inn for years, he considers it his responsibility to bare her bottom and spank her soundly.

In addition to working as a servant at the White Hart, Ellen has become known for her skill as an herbalist, and the last thing she needs is a stern sea captain getting in the way of her curing the ailments of her fellow villagers with a potion or tonic when the need arises. But despite her shock at being punished in such a shameful manner for nothing more than stealing a few apples, to Ellen’s surprise the painful chastisement leaves her aching for Thomas to take her in his arms and make her his.

Despite his willingness to spank her bare bottom whenever he feels it necessary, Ellen finds herself falling deeper in love with Thomas with every passing day. But when plague strikes the village and a witch finder is summoned, Thomas forbids Ellen from using her herbs to aid her friends and neighbors. As the situation grows more desperate, will she disobey him and put her skills to use even if it means risking her life, and can he keep her safe if she does?

Publisher’s Note: Claimed by the Captain is an erotic romance novel that contains spankings, sexual scenes, and elements of BDSM. If such material offends you, please don’t buy this book

If you like the sound of it and would like to have a read of a free sample, you can find one here.

Friday, 31 October 2014

A little too much inspiration

Mr M read my book!

(I know, it's only taken like a *month and a half*)

He read it in one sitting last night, crashed out on the sofa with the dog, whilst I sat at the table typing away at my vanilla novel and occasionally craning around to try and see what chapter he was up to.

He said he liked it, that it was 'sweet'...and then he took me upstairs for a good girl spanking.

So far, so good, right?

Well yeah. But then this morning, he flipped me onto my front and thrashed me with the tawse for *completely no reason at all* (ok, ok, I *may* have called him a c**t...) and now he's given me instructions to have the punishment cane, condoms and a bottle of lubricant ready for when he gets home from work.

I'm beginning to think that nagging him to read my book may have been a mistake...

p.s. Happy Halloween!

Sunday, 19 October 2014

Am I scared of you?

Last night.

It's past midnight and I'm curled up on someone else's sofa. The coffee table in front of me is heaving with half empty glasses, even emptier wine bottles, cards and scraps of wrapping paper. My lips are stained with red wine and my eyes are heavy.

There is laughter in another room. Some of the guests are calling their goodbyes from the hallway. But it's emptied in here and now there is just me and one of the other guests.

We are laughing, talking about something inconsequential. He's sitting on a dining chair all the way across the room. Not a threat.

But then our conversation moves on to the fact that - although we have played together in groups - we have never played 1-2-1.

'Which means,' I say, looking up at him out of blurry eyes, 'that I don't know if I'm scared of you or if you're just a bit rubbish.'

The 'just a bit rubbish' comment makes him laugh but it also makes him stand up and walk over.

Makes him stand over me, press down, threaten me.

I only laugh and try to shift further down into the sofa cushions. I am still not scared.

But then his fist is in my hair and he's pulling tight. I squeak, suddenly more awake, and then gasp as he manoeuvres me over onto my front. He's rough as he drags up the skirt of my dress. Some of the other guests are coming back into the room now but it makes no difference. He slaps my bottom, hard, and the sting makes me hiss through my teeth. A few more and I'm 'ouch'-ing and gasping.

But I'm still not scared. Only curious.

The fist in my hair is back. I am dragged to his side on the sofa, my face pressed up against his chest. He strokes my cheek and whispers about what happens to naughty little sluts like me.

They get slapped.

Only not right away. First they must go through several 'almost slaps' where the hand is raised sharply, comes down hard but stops just before making contact.

By the fifth one of these, I'm flinching away, pulling against the fist in my hair. Now I'm scared.

When the slap finally comes, it is hard enough to make me scream.

And then another.

And another.

So nice to ask a question and get it answered so promptly...

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

My name is Gracie Malling and I am a spanking novel addict

It started with a kindle.

It was a present. An unwanted present, to be honest. Last summer. For my 28th birthday.

I had always been resistant to kindles. Because, y'know, I love books. Real books. I love the feel and the smell of them. I love the look of them, all mismatched and crinkled lined up in crooked rows on my bookcase. I love enraging Mr M by turning over the corners of pages rather than using a bookmark...

So this kindle is presented to me and I smile and say 'thanks so much' because that's just the nice kind of person I am but I absolutely, positively have *no intention* of actually paying to download anything.

I decide to download a couple of free books though because why not? They're still there now in fact: Frankenstein, Northanger Abbey, Metamorphosis, to name but a few.

All free.

All unread.

Because not long after this kindle appeared in my life, I discovered what I had been missing by clinging so tightly to paper books: decent novel-length spanking porn.

I have known for many years now where to look online for lovely short stories (not least this brilliant site) but my one foray into actually buying a paper book had been a massive disappointment. I won't go into detail but will just say that it was both poorly written and not hot which is a pretty rubbish combination.

So discovering a veritable mine of fucking-hell-I-need-to-fan-myself hot spanking e-books just waiting in the kindle store was a revelation. My misgivings about my new kindle vanished within a few minutes of purchasing my first book.

And now? Well, my kindle is basically kink heaven. That is its function and any 'regular' books have long been crowded out and consigned to the back of a (very long) queue. I have downloaded books by this writer, this writer and a *ridiculous amount* by this writer. I keep finding new authors, new e-books, new samples that are so good I just have to go and download the whole thing...

When Mr M started telling me off, I just stopped telling him about it.

When I was meant to be focusing on my vanilla novel, I covertly started writing this book instead.

Even now, my notepad is full of scene ideas and chapter breakdowns for future spanking books while my (nearly bloody finished!!) vanilla novel is just sat on my computer glaring at me and going 'wtf?!'.

So you see what I'm basically saying is this: it's all the kindle's fault.

Monday, 22 September 2014

I wrote a book!

A whole book. With a beginning, a middle, an end and everything!

Just to put this momentous occasion into context: I have wanted to write a book since I was about eight years old. That was - not to put too fine a point on it - a really long time ago. The ensuing 20-odd years have consisted of starting about a million books but never finishing any of them.

I don't suffer with writer's block so much as 'writer's over-active imagination'. Inevitably, halfway through one book, I would get an amazing idea for another and just have to start it right away. And then this pattern pretty much repeated itself over and over and over for years...

Until now! I'm not sure what it was about this particular story that made me hang in there and see it through to the end. Although I guess it helps that writing about lovely spankings and hot sex is super-fun... ;-). I'm just so happy and amazed and grateful that it has finally happened after all this time.

Soooo, that's enough backstory from me. Here's the cover of my book:

 Troublemaker by Gracie Malling

And here's the official blurb:

 Jo has always longed for her husband, Chris, to take her in hand, but the more she acts out in the hopes of ending up over his knee for a good, hard, bare-bottom spanking, the worse she feels. When she stumbles upon The Good Wife Training Centre while online late at night, she quickly emails the link to Chris before she can second guess herself. To Jo’s surprise, the next morning Chris tells her he wants to give her what she needs, and they are soon enrolled at the centre.

Upon their arrival, Chris and Jo meet their tutor, a no-nonsense disciplinarian who wastes no time in coaching Chris as he takes his feisty young bride over his knee for her first spanking. While Jo and the other ladies are taught to cook and clean, Chris and the other husbands learn how to firmly scold and soundly spank a naughty wife. But when Jo pushes her tutors too far and it becomes clear that she needs stricter discipline, is Chris prepared to teach his little troublemaker a lesson that she won’t soon forget, even if it leaves her cheeks blushing as red as her well-spanked bottom?

Publisher’s Note: Troublemaker is an erotic romance novel that contains spankings, sexual scenes, anal play, and more. If such material offends you, please don’t buy this book.

If you think you might like to read the whole thing (which would make me amazingly happy but no pressure ;-) ), you can find out where it's available here.

Saturday, 6 October 2012

The return of the Punishment Book

Mr M and I have now been married for nearly 4 months (yay :-) ).

It's been a wonderful time but also a busy time, what with one thing and another, and the discipline side of things had started to slide.

Therefore Mr M, in his wisdom, decided to bring back The Punishment Book, which was first introduced back in summer 2011. The Punishment Book is a hard-backed A4 pad and each page is split up into 4 columns: 'offence and date of offence', 'punishment', 'date of punishment' and a final column for the initials of the person who has dished out the punishment (so far, this column has only included Mr M's initials but the thought of being given to someone else for punishment is a rather exciting one...).

A few days ago, I got my first punishment session since the reinstatement of The Punishment Book.

Here are the details...

Offence and date of offence: 'Forgetting to lock the back door when we went out' (17 September 12)
Punishment: 12 strokes of the cane
Date of punishment: 2 October 12

Offence and date of offence: 'Not writing in the Punishment Book right away' (17 September 12)
Punishment: bare-bottom spanking
Date of punishment: 2 October 12

Offence and date of offence: 'Not listening to Mr M properly' (17 September 12)
Punishment: leg spanking
Date of punishment: 2 October 12

Offence and date of offence: 'Forgetting to shut the window when we went out' (27 September 12)
Punishment: 12 strokes of the heavy strap
Date of punishment: 2 October 12

Needless to say, my bottom was very sore by the end of this session! I still have the bruises now and I can certainly feel it when I sit down.

And it goes without saying that I haven't forgotten to lock any doors or windows since...