Tuesday, 23 May 2017
So I've just finished reading this lovely book by Katie Douglas and it really made me think (and possibly get really wet... and possibly masturbate a lot...).
Anyway, it really made me think about how I feel about Daddy / girl play.
It took me nearly 8 years of being on the scene before I felt ready to play with this sort of dynamic. For ages, I wouldn't even countenance it, wouldn't even allow myself to think about it. I worried about it being perceived as some kind of creepy Electra complex and/or underage sex thing (even though I knew - objectively - that it was neither of those things).
Then, when I did first give it a go, the Daddy I played with wanted to make me 'little'. He even bought me a special top/bra thing which would press my breasts down flat, with a little girl nightie to wear with it. Whilst I enjoyed being caught up in his fantasy, it wasn't my fantasy and I wasn't entirely sure how I felt about it.
Fast forward two years and there are some very lovely people I play with who still want to treat me like a big(ish) girl even when they're being my 'Daddy'. However, there have been times I've heard about other women on the scene who like their Daddy to read them bedtime stories, watch kids TV with them, etc and it's made me wonder if what I like can even be classed as Daddy / girl at all.
And then His Naughty Little Housewife came along and suddenly everything became clear. I'm a middle and I like middling! Basically, my 'little girl age' is more 14 than 4 and that's totally ok :-).
*Does a little dance*
Tuesday, 16 May 2017
Seriously, such is my level of sub drop from all the lovely playing this past weekend that I am not even writing a blog this week.
This is not a blog.
I said, it's not a blog.
This is a holding message.
I will try to do better next week but I promise nothing.
Tuesday, 9 May 2017
I'm something of a fan of corner time.
Whilst it's not my *favourite* thing, I do enjoy the humiliation... the submission (I mean, it's basically like bondage without the ropes, right?)... the almost literal sense of belittling.
In fact, I like it so much that corner time has actually made it into two of my spanking novels: Troublemaker and The Soldier's Girl.
Here are two of those lovely, humiliating moments...
Jo obeyed, gripping the bed’s left post for balance, and Chris got a clear view of her backside which was striped with six overlapping welts, each red and raised.
Mr Anderson gripped her by the shoulders and steered her over to the wall by the door.
“Stand here and face the wall. I want you to think about what you have done and how you will behave differently tomorrow. Stay where you are until I tell you otherwise. Do you understand?”
“You’re going to go and stand in that corner,” he used the brush to point to the one he meant, “face the wall and think about why you’re being punished. Off you go. Hands behind your back.”
This time, Kathy did as she was told right away, albeit in something of a dreamlike state. None of this felt real just yet… but then each time the glossy shine of that clothes brush caught her eye Kathy was reminded of just how real it was about to feel and another shiver would shoot through her belly. As she positioned herself in the shadowy corner, her face up close to the fading wallpaper, a shred of resistance whispered that this was undignified and that she should refuse to be treated like a misbehaving child. Who did this yank think he was? But the desire to submit – to experience a true punishment at the hands of the man she could now admit (even if only to herself) that she loved – was stronger. She pushed that resistance away at the same moment as she obediently clasped her hands behind her back.
It is a curious thing, to stand naked in the corner of your bedroom while a man sits on your bed, watching you. Kathy’s body responded by somehow moving the location of her heart beat to that place between her legs. Each pulse and throb made her hotter and hotter there until she feared she might whimper, and not out of fear or contrition.
- The Soldier's Girl
Tuesday, 2 May 2017
A lot of people in my life don't know that I'm kinky.
So, for instance: they don't know that I have bought them presents or taken them out for dinner with money I've made from writing spanking romances.
They don't know that I met my husband on an online spanking forum. They don't know that we play with other people, or that we're polyamorous (it's quite possible they've never even heard of that word). And they certainly don't know that the nice girl who seems to be around a lot is our girlfriend who we're both crazy in love with.
Basically, you could say the name 'Gracie Malling' at them and they'd just blink at you, like 'I'm sorry - who?'.
Now, I don't like keeping secrets. Any joy that can be found in deception is entirely lost on me. I would much rather be open and honest and, y'know, advocate for my lifestyle (like, 'yeah, I'm kinky and it's fucking amazing - let me tell you all about it').
Will it always have to be a secret? I hope not... let's just say now is not the time (because: reasons).
And so, while I'm waiting for that happy day when I can finally be out and proud, here are some questions that I dread being asked:
Q: So, how did you guys meet?
A: Oh, you know - friends of friends
[Real Answer: On an online spanking forum - would you like me to give you the link?]
Q: What are you up to this weekend?
A: Um... just meeting up with a friend
[Real Answer: He's training me in face-fucking and anal - would you like to see my pictures from last time?]
Q: Is it ok if I just pop round (without calling) some time this week?
A: Of course!
[Real Answer: I'll be locking the door from the inside though, just in case you turn up at the wrong moment]
Q: So, Gracie, how are things with you and your husband in the bedroom?
A: That's a rather personal question!
[Real Answer: Just to clarify, are we talking about the times when it's only me and my husband?]
Q: Would you rather your husband cheated on you with a man or a woman?
A: Um... it's not really something I've ever thought about
[Real Answer: The whole concept of 'cheating' doesn't really exist in our relationship, sorry. Ask me another]
Q: What's that? (pointing to the wooden dildo on the bedside table)
A: (places toilet roll over it) It's for holding the toilet roll - see!
[Real Answer: It's our girlfriend's favourite toy...]
Q: So, have you been doing any writing lately?
A: Um... not really...
[Real Answer: Soooo much! And it's awesome! And I really wish I could tell you about it! Eeeee!]
Oh well, I guess a secret kinky life is better than no kinky life at all... :-/