Tuesday, 6 June 2017

Morality Check

Sometimes I forget how non-standard my life is.

One of my kinky friends advised me to 'embrace the weird' rather than trying to normalise TTWD to myself and, while she's probably right, I find it particularly hard when my vanilla friends ask me for relationship advice.

For example, I never know how to react when a friend reveals (in tones of outrage) that their partner has been looking at porn. I mean, what am I supposed to say? "Oh God, that's awful"?? How could I be so hypocritical? Particularly when I'm well aware that I probably look at more porn than Mr M and Darling Girl combined...

In those situations, I try my best to suppress my initial reaction (which is invariably "Ooh, what kind of porn? Was it good?") and just make some form of non-committal but sympathetic 'mmm' type noises until they stop talking about it.

And that's when it starts: the 'am I immoral?' thought loop.

Most of the time, I'm fairly comfortable in the knowledge that I'm a good person who is kind and respectful and simply has some slightly unusual sexual preferences. But then a situation like this arises, I feel completely useless to the vanilla friend in question and I start to wonder if I possibly just have an (exciting) black hole where my morality ought to be.

And - if yes - how can I fix it?

And... and... do I even *want* to fix it??

Hmm, I think the moral of this story is maybe I just need to out myself to those vanilla friends who insist on asking me for relationship advice (and then when I say "hey, why don't you try ethical non-monogamy?!", they at least won't be surprised...!).

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